仕事を辞めました I quit my job.

The English translation(By DeepL.com) is at bottom of the page.

二十歳ぐらいからなんとなく流れでずっとやっていた自営の仕事を辞めました。

 

自営と言っても自分で何かを興したわけではなくて、家族のみで経営していた会社を継いで働いていました。

好きな仕事ではありませんでしたが、内容はそこそこ得意だし、そこそこ稼げているので、特に辞める理由もなく、こんなもんかなと毎日出勤していたらいつの間にか10年の月日が経っていました。

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流れに身を任せていたらこうなっていたという感じで、いい加減ふわふわした感じもケリをつけないとな~とさらにふわふわと思っていたら、新型コロナウィルスの出現です。いきなり周りの環境がどんどん変わり始めました。

パートナーが仕事を辞めたり、家族経営で一緒に働いていた弟も、「自分の夢を追う機会かもしれない」と、経営から抜けてやりたかった事に専念し始めました。カッコいいじゃねえかちきしょう。

当の僕は、会社の売上は一時思いっきり下がりましたが、徐々に回復もしていたし、まだふわふわです。「仕事やめるとどんな感じなのかな~」「ええな~」「ずる~」くらいの感想です。

が、そんな白カビゆるふわの日々を勝手に送っていたら、ある日突然、夢追いかけることにキラキラし始めてる弟が「ギンくんは仕事、やめへんの?」とカビキラーを正面から浴びせてきました。

ギクリ。目を背けていたのに。気ままを装っていたのに。見透かされていたか。まあ、自分の人生を動かすとか、ケリをつけるとか大それた理由以前に、仕事が微妙に向いていないような気が年々増していました。でも「微妙に向いてない」レベルなので、日々のストレスは暴飲暴食でごまかせるんですよね。働き始めてから体重は20kg以上増え、飲酒量も増え、毎晩酔っ払っているような状況でも、進行が遅いので、無理している事に気づきにくい。心を殺していたら出来なくもない仕事、めっちゃ曲者。

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でも、塵も積もればなんとやらで、逆流性食道炎が酷くなり夜中に激痛で目が覚めるし、家族との関係も悪くなってくるんですよ。それでも酒も食べまくるのもやめられない。馬鹿な僕でもいい加減どうにかしないとと思い始めました。

とは言えですよ。「世の中ってそんなもの」とも思っていましたし、他の人には「そんなもんだよ」と言われるかもしれないですし、まあ実際言われましたが、でも、考えれば考える程、「みんながそうだからといって僕もその輪の中に入る必要」は全くないんじゃないか?何か俺、誰かに飼い殺されてない?俺自信に飼い殺されてない?向き不向きを追求しても良くない?...そんな思いが止まらなくなってしまい、出した結論は「世の中ってそんなものじゃない。」

辞めるに至りました。カビキラーは無事、根本まで効きました。

 

何するの?とよく聞かれますが、昔、仕事の片手間で運営していたブログやサイトで(情報商材とか怪しいやつではないですよ、真っ当な?内容です)小遣い程度ですがお金を稼いでいた時期もあり、それ自体はとても楽しかったので、そこに活動中のYoutubeも加えて、食って、いけたら、いい、な~....

 

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方針としては、

「世の中に対して、もう少し心臓に優しいと言いますか、爆笑の連続ではなく、微笑むような、ふわっと優しいさわり心地の良いコンテンツを作りたい」

です。長い。

 

この記事の文章は、最近読んだジェーン・スーさんのこの本↑に影響されている。

足元にも呼ばないけどなんかノリがそんな感じ。

--

 

I quit my self-employed job, which I had been doing for some reason or another since I was about 20 years old.

 

 

When I said I was self-employed, it didn't mean that I started something by myself; I was working to take over a company that was run solely by my family.

It wasn't my favorite job, but I was pretty good at what I did, and I was earning a decent amount of money, so I had no reason to quit.

 

I felt like this is what would have happened if I had just gone with the flow, and I thought I had to end my fluffy feeling, but then the new coronavirus appeared and the environment around us suddenly started to change.

 

My partner quit his job and my younger brother, who was working with me in the family business, thought that this might be an opportunity for him to pursue his own dreams and started to focus on what he wanted to do instead of running the business. That's pretty cool, isn't it?

Our sales dropped drastically for a while, but they were slowly recovering and I was still in a state of flux. I wonder what it's like to quit my job..." "Yeah," "That's not fair" is all I can think of.

But one day, as I was going through those days of fungus, one of my younger brothers, who was starting to get excited about chasing his dream, asked me, "Gin, are you going to stop working? and the mold killer was front and center.

Gikri. I was turning away from it. I was pretending to be indulgent. You've been seeing through me. Well, I felt more and more like I was subtly unsuited to the job every year, before I had any great reason to run my life or get my kinks worked out. But I'm at the "subtly unsuitable" level, so I'm able to cover up my daily stress with binge drinking. Even though I've gained over 20 pounds since I started working, and I've been drinking more, and getting drunk every night, it's hard to notice that I'm overwhelmed because I'm progressing so slowly. A job that I wouldn't be able to do if I was killing my mind, and I'm a very curvy person.

 

But when the dust settles, what a mess, the reflux esophagitis gets worse and I wake up in the middle of the night in extreme pain, and my relationship with my family gets worse. But I couldn't stop drinking and eating all the time. I was beginning to think that I had to do something about it, even though I was an idiot.

But that's not the case. Other people might say, "That's just the way the world is", and they did, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that just because everyone else is like that, there's no need for me to be part of that circle. What if I'm being kept alive by someone? I'm not letting myself get tamed, am I? Isn't it good to pursue what you're not suited for? I couldn't stop thinking about it, and the conclusion I came to was, "The world isn't like that.

I came to the conclusion that I quit. The mold killer worked safely and to the root of the problem.

 

What to do? I'm often asked, "What do you do?", but I used to run a blog and website that I ran on the side of my job (not an information product or a questionable one, straight up?). (It's content) There was a time when I was earning money, though it was just pocket money, and that in itself was a lot of fun, so I'd like to add Youtube to that, too, if I can eat and make a living... ....

 

 

 


As for the policy.

I want to make content that's a little more heartfelt, not just a bunch of laughs, but something that makes you smile, something that's soft and fluffy and comfortable.

It is Long.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)